Some individuals misread the stages of dating, Frank says. They assume that after they discover their mate, their life will start. In accordance with Frank, this might not be extra false; in reality, she argues that’s exactly the other of what it is best to do for a wholesome relationship.
“A nonnegotiable for everyone ought to be to construct your life and ensure your life is working earlier than you connect your self to a different human,” she explains. This implies solidifying totally different facets of your life earlier than in search of a mate, and positively earlier than settling right into a serious relationship.
“It takes a village to maintain a relationship,” she continues. “Should you don’t have your personal infrastructure of your personal associates, your personal hobbies, your personal wellness practices, and your personal psychological hygiene in place earlier than you enter a relationship, the chance that relationship shall be useful or sustainable is fairly low.” Translation: You do not wish to be connected on the hip. {Couples} who over-rely on one another run the danger of becoming codependent, which may put a pressure on the connection.
Psychotherapist Ken Page, LCSW, agrees: “To surrender the journey of self-discovery—no less than a few of which must happen throughout alone time—is to surrender one of many richest dimensions of our lives. And our partnership will undergo, as we’ll,” he not too long ago advised mbg. That stated, dedicate time to exploring your personal pursuits and attending to know your self earlier than investing in one other particular person; this can show you how to preserve individuality in the relationship. Consider it like furnishing a house that’s absolutely constructed somewhat than one which’s half-finished—you possibly can’t transfer in to a home with a wobbly basis.
