Simple Living

The Paradox of True Contentment – The Simply Luxurious Life®

September 7, 2022

You have got 4 free put up views remaining this month.

Change into a Member and think about posts with out restrictions.

“The paradox of [contentment] is that it doesn’t matter about our state of affairs of life as meditation offers us freedom within the thoughts, however [when we cultivate contentment] we wish to attempt to create an setting that’s good for our physique and thoughts.” —Andy Puddicombe, Headspace

Welcome to the premiere of the ninth season of The Simple Sophisticate podcast.

In September 2014, the podcast debuted, and continues to premiere a brand new season every subsequent September. If you’re new listener, you’ll want to discover the entire previous episodes situated on the podcast page here on the weblog, and if you want, start with episode #1 which is essentially the most downloaded episode of your complete present.

I wish to take a fast second to thank the greater than 1,050 listeners from around the globe who’ve written a assessment for or ranked the present on their most well-liked podcasting platform. I attempt to share listeners’ opinions on episodes of the present as my manner of thanking you for taking the time for sharing what you take pleasure in in regards to the podcast as a result of it genuinely makes a distinction, and new and potential listeners learn what you share, taking word to seek out out what this present is all about. And most significantly, I do know you’ve many issues that occupy your consideration, and rating and particularly reviewing takes time, so thanks very a lot for giving of your time. (under is a snapshot of the previous couple of weeks of the present, and you will notice within the higher right-hand nook the overall variety of opinions and rankings)

The Podcast as moved to Wednesdays!

As you little doubt have seen, right this moment’s podcast episode is showing on a Wednesday and that’s not accidentally. Transferring ahead as I started sharing this previous summer season, the podcast will share new episodes on the first and third Wednesday of every month. The rationale for shifting the present from Monday to Wednesday is to accommodate a piece week that honors when I’ve essentially the most creativity and time to present to writing and producing the present. For the primary 6-7 years of the present, I wrote, taped and produced the present over the weekend resulting from my instructing schedule through the work week; nevertheless, now that I’m completely writing and may design my very own schedule, I wish to dedicate my Mondays to writing every new episode and Tuesdays to taping and producing in order that I can deliver a recent new present to you each 1st and third Wednesday of each month.

With that mentioned, there’s nonetheless inspiring content material to kick off a model new week on the weblog within the type of the weekly Monday Motivational put up that will probably be shared each single week as long as there’s a Monday in it (which there all the time will probably be!;)). You’ll want to take a look at this week’s Monday Motivational put up here, Saying No to a Culture of Non-Truths and Finally Finding Inner Calm.

Now to right this moment’s episode which concludes with two Petit Plaisirs as we have a good time the graduation of a brand new season.

To reside a lifetime of contentment is to reside a lifetime of internal steadiness, a sense of being grounded and confident (to not be confused with smug and all-knowing) it doesn’t matter what is swirling round you exterior of your thoughts and physique. I share on the homepage of the weblog and once more on the Introductions page of TSLL the definition of True Contentment which isn’t a time period most individuals are conversant in. Happiness, sure, most individuals assume they know what happiness is, however Contentment, not often uttered and due to this fact not often understood, and due to this fact, many are much less prone to perceive the superior presents and elevation to the standard of your life it could possibly deliver.

I took further time after we had been redesigning the weblog final 12 months to be very clear about speaking what Contentment is to new and present readers, explaining how Contentment, whereas completely different from happiness, is totally associated. Have a look under on the distinction.

For right this moment’s episode, exploring the paradox of contentment, I’m going to zero in on the primary bullet of the checklist above within the inexperienced field: whenever you put money into cultivating contentment inside your self (which is fully inside your management), you may navigate day-after-day nicely it doesn’t matter what the exterior occasions could also be.

However first, let’s discuss what a paradox is.

The definition of Paradox:

a seemingly contradictory assertion involving two (or extra)  concepts that originally are perceived not being potential to exist concurrently, however upon investigation and additional examination, state a reality.

The paradox of contentment begins and requires that we start with changing into a pupil of mindfulness. By meditation (of which there are many ways to practice – you don’t should be sitting down, you may follow walking meditations and lots of different types, so you’ll want to discover one which fits you), you start to realize extra consciousness of your ideas, and are then, with constant follow and time (i.e. endurance) start to step away objectively out of your ideas and assess them rationally, noting why they arose, what wants aren’t being met, and so on. since you turn into a extra sincere pupil of your self.

Essentially, residing a lifetime of contentment doesn’t simply occur; it’s a selection, and a selection we select again and again, however as a result of we’re constant in our selection, we steadily start to see the advantages of doing so and the selection turns into simpler and simpler after which turns into a wholesome, constructive behavior that’s foundational to residing our lives nicely. A extra peaceable and rested thoughts; a thoughts for decision-making that has extra readability; a kinder, much less defensive engagement with the world and to ourselves; and lots of extra advantages (discover TSLL’s Archives in the category of Contentment to find all of them).

Let’s break that down.

Contentment is all about cultivating internal peace and calm no matter what’s going on round and out of doors of us, of which we have now no management. It’s after we start to reside a lifetime of contentment that we start to, as Andy Puddicombe’s quote above states, “create an setting that’s good for our physique and thoughts.” The latter half of this paradox is that our outer world begins to enhance, change and mirror the peace and calm we really feel inside. Straight, this modification within the outer world, just isn’t assured, as a result of we don’t have management over anyone else’s decisions however our personal, however how we deliver ourselves to the world, how we interact, the selections we make, what we prioritize, how we predict and thus how we talk, what we are saying, how we are saying it, if we even select to say something, is the power that determines what we’ll expertise in methods we can’t predict. And as you’ll start to see, that constructive courageous and loving power is given again to you, and you start to expertise the residing of your life in a extra joyful manner.

Progressively, via meditation which strengthens the thoughts, Puddicombe shares, “you start to create the situations each internally and externally, for peace of thoughts.”

One of the troublesome components of selecting to reside with contentment and accepting the above paradox to be true is that we can’t know when or how all of this can happen. As people, our Lizard Mind needs to know. And if we can’t know for sure, we don’t wish to dare waste our power, however right here’s the irony within the refusal to put money into contentment. By selecting to reside a lifetime of contentment, you really gas your self as an alternative of drain your self. You gained’t be losing power by studying the way to domesticate contentment. You may be giving your life a deep breath, an energizing enhance that on nice days will take you even larger and on troublesome days will maintain you and assist you to healthily navigate via.

Quick versus distant outcomes. Or extra instantly, brief versus long run outcomes. Let’s check out the distinction.

Initially, I’ll be sincere, as people, and particularly in our tradition of immediacy and shortened attention-spans, we would like outcomes instantly. I do as nicely. Rely me on that checklist. We wish to know if one thing goes to work earlier than we make investments. In fact, it is going to depend upon what you wish to put money into, however in terms of your peace of thoughts which is a core element in your psychological well being and well-being, relationships and the way you interact with the world in your administrative center, group and residential, it’s exhausting to think about something extra essential to speculate correctly in. And most substantive, deeply life affecting investments take time to render their profit. Typically the advantages are what by no means should skilled as a result of they’ve been mitigated by making the clever selection, and different occasions, the good thing about having readability about what our coronary heart and true self wants takes time as a result of it asks us to be brave up entrance, to take a seemingly enormous danger up entrance with none guarantees, after which keep the course and proceed to be a pupil, proceed to use the talents, proceed to follow wholesome each day habits, however then hastily, you cease and go searching you, and you’re expressing gratitude for having cultivated loving relationships, a profession that offers you function, a life you take pleasure in residing every day and a world that’s progressively bettering. These superior issues take time, however additionally they take acutely aware effort and a courageous particular person to floor themselves first to find the way to reside nicely, and that begins with residing a lifetime of contentment.

The paradox of contentment demonstrates that essentially the most troublesome a part of residing a lifetime of contentment is in the beginning when you’re simply beginning to dare to belief that cultivating the required abilities of self-awareness, mindfulness, and so on. Why? As a result of doubtless the setting you reside and/or work in, the connection (perhaps not all) that you’re engaged in, don’t nurture the values you are attempting to strengthen. Nonetheless, with constant, intentional effort, since you live a lifetime of true contentment, you start to have the power and belief in making completely different choices that construct relationships and an setting that does help the way you wish to reside, and since you are surrounding your self with such an setting, it turns into simpler to reside the life you had envisioned whenever you started the journey.

Beneath are a number of examples of how our outer world begins to alter and because of residing a lifetime of contentment, additional nurturing the values of our selection.

how we spend our time – we hunt down actions, hobbies and routines that fuels us and excite us fairly than drain, deplete or cut back our vanity and power
our houses turn into sanctuaries that we take care of thoughtfully, adorn with endurance and cautious consideration educated of how our dwelling setting impacts us and what we want it to supply after we cross the edge upon returning dwelling.
as a result of we have now set boundaries, fewer folks in our lives violate them, and in the event that they do, we’re much less confused as a result of we all know the way to clearly set them and stroll ahead with or with out them relying upon whether or not they honor what we will or can’t do.
our hobbies and our job/profession turn into extra fulfilling as a result of we’re honoring what lights us up, have been brave in honoring our true selves and brought dangers to discover, step towards what piques our curiosity
{our relationships}, those we have now both saved or chosen to step into, are richer and extra loving and uplifting as a result of we have now the power and the braveness to be courageous and loving with our phrases and actions, our time and our valuing of our family members’ wants in addition to being clear about our wants and bravely speaking and lovingly listening which eliminates resentment and builds belief that the connection – romantic or platonic – is mutually consenting and really loving fairly than constraining and limiting.

As all of us step into a brand new season, and in some ways a brand new 12 months, as I shared in Monday’s Motivational post, whereas it takes time to see the advantages we consciously want to welcome into our lives, plainly far faster than we would predict, the fantastic thing about our days and life current themselves and we’re experiencing them day-after-day, in on a regular basis moments.

Thanks for tuning in to right this moment’s episode and the primary episode of Season 9 of the podcast. I’ve two Petit Plaisirs to share with you, and search for a model new episode (episode #340) on Wednesday September twenty first.

Don’t overlook that the fifth seasons of The Simply Luxurious Kitchen cooking show kicks off this coming Saturday, September tenth proper right here on the weblog. Search for a trailer of the brand new season to be shared later this week on TSLL.

Petit Plaisir

~The Split, BBC collection on Sundance