I Don’t Regret Getting HIV Because It Saved My Life

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As advised to Aviva Patz

September 18, 2022, is National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day.

It’s onerous to consider that HIV could possibly be a blessing, however for me, it was.

That’s as a result of it gave me an opportunity to vary my life.

After having been sexually abused by my uncle and emotionally abused by my father, I ran away from house at 13 solely to be positioned within the foster care system, the place I used to be sexually abused once more. By the point I used to be identified with HIV at age 18 in 1991, I used to be dwelling on the streets of Miami, courting the chief of a violent avenue gang and committing crimes myself, together with armed theft. I used to be filled with anger and self-hatred.

Mockingly, my HIV prognosis got here simply after I was attempting to show my life round. I’d left the gang after I was 17 and moved again in with my mother, regardless that she made it clear that she didn’t need me there as a result of she thought I used to be a troublemaker. Ultimately, I advised her I wished to go to Job Corps, a vocational faculty for teenagers in hassle. I assumed it was my alternative to show that I used to be worthy.

I wasn’t sick in any respect, however at Job Corps, they did routine blood work on new college students to check for being pregnant and different situations. On TV, you solely noticed homosexual white males from San Francisco with HIV. By no means in my life did I feel I’d be advised I used to be HIV constructive.

The physician who identified me had no compassion. He simply blurted out, “You will have AIDS.” It was horrible. He didn’t give me a pamphlet or something. However I didn’t cry. I simply put my head down and thought, I’m by no means going to get married, by no means going to have kids. Again then, HIV was a death sentence.

I come from an excellent household, a conservative Catholic household from Colombia. And, the Latinx group is like, “Don’t ask, don’t inform,” so my mother sat me down and mentioned, “We are able to’t inform anybody within the household or mates. They’re ignorant. They’ll discriminate.” So I felt I had to keep my HIV status a secret.

On the time, the one therapy obtainable was a most cancers treatment referred to as AZT. They advised me within the clinic that I might get on AZT, however I must signal a waiver acknowledging that it might injury my inside organs. I mentioned, “Nope, I’m not taking that.”

After years with out therapy, my T cells went right down to 39 — the traditional vary is 500 to 1,400 per cubic millimeter of blood. I knew I might proceed dying or start medical therapy.

I selected to dwell.

At Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami, the place I used to be handled, I began going to instructional lessons in particular immunology. I went two hours a day, and I discovered a lot. I used to be very talkative in these lessons, and each time I spoke, individuals listened. The directors approached me and requested if I’d wish to be a peer educator. They mentioned, “You helped so many individuals already.”

I acquired educated by the well being division to counsel minorities — not solely Latinx individuals but additionally the African American and LGBTQ communities and immigrants.

Maria Mejia chatting with members of Congress

I by no means supposed to turn into an activist, however that’s the place I landed. As of late, I assist cross laws for the HIV group. And I’m a world ambassador, group advisory board member and A Woman Like Me blogger for The Well Project, a nonprofit group giving data, help and instruments to ladies and women with HIV/AIDS.

I’ve based on-line help teams with 40,000 members, in English and Spanish. We’ve got individuals from tribes in Africa all the best way to Patagonia in South America. I name myself Maria HIV with “HIV” as my center identify. I don’t care — that’s how I entice individuals.

I lead by instance, and I combat stigma by humanizing the situation. I’m a long-term survivor who is just not solely surviving however thriving. I’m one of the seen faces of HIV on this planet, and I present that individuals with HIV can love, get married and have kids. I give hope to the hopeless. And, I don’t remorse that I acquired HIV as a result of, sarcastically, it saved my life.

It’s helped me develop in so some ways: I’ve discovered to like myself and care for myself and to be extra compassionate and non secular. And, better of all, it’s made my objective clear to me. I’ve met so many individuals who’ve been by means of lots, and collectively we’ve saved so many lives. In serving to others, I’ve discovered I additionally assist myself.

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