by Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
I can’t give up fascinated about quitting—the way it’s very important for our well-being and why it’s so exhausting to do. Early in my profession, essential incidents propelled me to ponder the complexity of quitting, and I’ve continued to ponder its pivotal energy. This put up discusses the vital function quitting has in self-care.
Quiet Quitting—Phrase!
Quiet quitting is making lots of noise. This phenomenon—which, at core, entails setting boundaries about work expectations—is being vociferously mentioned on platforms from TikTok to the Wall Street Journal. Unsurprisingly, this assemble is interpreted in a different way relying on positionality. As an illustration, those that profit from staff “giving their all” at work translate “quitting” extra negatively than those that are (re)claiming quiet quitting as life steadiness.
Earlier than the time period “quiet quitting” grew to become well-liked, the podcast “We Can Do Onerous Issues” did a thought-provoking episode on Quitting, which I extremely suggest. Glennon Doyle identified that numerous examples—resembling how Simone Biles was criticized when she give up on the 2016 Olympics for her personal well-being—convey the dominant messages of “winners by no means give up.” However, Glennon asserted that quitting is likely one of the “strongest and wisest” self-care selections and is “crucial for survival.”
Notably, Amanda Doyle shared the phrase give up has the basis of quietus, and the unique that means was “to let out” and “to be calm and resting.” She elaborated that “give up” took on unfavourable connotations through the Industrial Revolution, when capitalism’s “relentless productiveness” grew to become the measure of 1’s price.
Hmmm… quiet and give up are rooted in self-care goals of freedom, calmness, and relaxation. Phrase!
Effectively…Give up!
“Don’t give up.” With ubiquitous supplies and messages on grit, resilience, perseverance, and so forth, our tradition’s implicit and specific curricula socialize and reward studying the right way to “not give up.” With this cultural saturation, we internalize that quitting is unhealthy. We aren’t taught the information, expertise, nor worth of the right way to give up.
Annie Duke’s Quit—The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away is a well timed useful resource in correcting this vital drawback. One in every of my favourite self-care correctives is: “If at first you don’t succeed…redefine success.” As Duke reframes, “Success…lies in choosing the right factor to stay to and quitting the remaining” (p. xix). Utilizing tales and science, Duke expertly explains why quitting is so vital and tough. She supplies a reflective and pragmatic information for growing core competence in quitting.
Amongst a substantive vary of insights and techniques, two aspects are significantly pertinent to self-care for serving to professionals. First, Duke explains that “id” is a major barrier to quitting. “With regards to quitting, essentially the most painful factor to give up is who you might be” (p. 179). Too usually, social employees and different serving to professionals identify as selfless superheroes out to save lots of the world, no matter value to our personal well-being. Paraphrasing Duke (very loosely!), we gotta give up that s***.
Equally, as Duke writes, assessing anticipated worth (EV) helps us know when to keep it up or give up. What’s the EV of quitting? Importantly, EV isn’t just financial; it’s something that impacts our well-being.
Self-Care Success: Figuring out my worth, prioritizing my well-being, and quitting the remaining.
Profitable at Subtraction Self-Care
Self-care is commonly portrayed as one thing we do. Sometimes, it’s framed as actions inserted into already full lives and added as additional commitments. However, self-care is not simply including one thing additional. Oftentimes, it’s subtracting. It’s not simply what we do; it’s what we do not do. Moreover, self-care isn’t just how we get better from work; it’s how we work. Subtraction self-care engages quitting as a life talent {and professional} competency.
Equally, like many different facets of self-care, quitting just isn’t all or nothing. As Duke writes, generally quitting will be pressured. Quitting will be letting go and making space. It may be so simple as deleting a niggling process on a to-do checklist or as vital as leaving a poisonous office or relationship. Oftentimes, quitting entails incremental modifications, resembling setting boundaries round work expectations—psychologically and virtually.
In her e book, Duke experiences myriad optimistic outcomes from quitting. She asserts, “Opposite to well-liked perception, winners give up rather a lot. That’s how they win” (p. 246). Celebration is a part of self-care. Duke proclaims, “Quitting needs to be celebrated” (p. xxvi).
Self-Care Task: Give up one thing…and, then, have fun. Profitable!
Peace, Love, & Self-Care,
Erlene
Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Companion in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC supplies analysis, coaching, and session for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former school member and graduate program director, she and a small (however mighty!) group of colleagues carried out an initiative to advertise self-care as a part of the social work schooling curriculum. Beforehand, she served in scientific and administrative roles. She has expertise with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and private! Likewise, as an educator, she noticed college students enter the sphere and shortly burn out. As a devoted social employee, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to advertise self-care and wellness!
