The Ballad of Marie and Elsie

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There was a younger lady from Anglesea
Who took fairly a shine to philosophy.
She contemplated so much
Upon “ought” and “ought not”,
Which stopped when she seen a bee.

The bee’s identify was Elsie, the lady’s Marie,
Marie was disgusted, whereas Elsie sipped tea,
She looked for a weapon to
Educate Elsie a lesson
And ship off that bee, straight to eternity.

The weapon was present in just some seconds,
‘Twas Kant’s noble work on the legislation and the heavens.
She grabbed it actual tight,
And whacked with some would possibly –
Poor Elsie was useless and disadvantaged of all presence.

Marie was relieved she removed the beast,
Returned to her books and forgot the deceased,
And contemplated once more
The essence of man,
The great and the dangerous, what counts most and what least.

◊ ◊ ◊

Michael Hauskeller is Professor of Philosophy and Head of the Philosophy Division on the College of Liverpool, UK. He makes a speciality of ethical and existential philosophy, however has additionally finished work in varied different areas, most notably phenomenology (the speculation of atmospheres), the philosophy of artwork and wonder, and the philosophy of human enhancement.

His publications embrace Biotechnology and the Integrity of Life (Routledge 2007), Better Humans? Understanding the Enhancement Project (Routledge 2013), Sex and the Posthuman Condition (Palgrave Macmillan 2014), The Palgrave Handbook of Posthumanism in Film and Television (ed. with T. Philbeck and C. Carbonell, Palgrave 2015), Mythologies of Transhumanism (Palgrave Macmillan 2016), Moral Enhancement. Critical Perspectives (ed. with L. Coyne, Cambridge College Press 2018), and The Meaning of Life and Death (Bloomsbury 2019). His most up-to-date guide is The Things that Really Matter. Philosophical Conversations on the Cornerstones of Life (UCL Press, 2022).

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Cowl picture by Boris Smokrovic on Unsplash.

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