Little one: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.
Hiya and welcome to the Wellness Mama podcast. I’m Katie from wellnessmama.com and I’m so grateful you’re right here with me at present. I’m right here for spherical two with Veronica Rottman to speak about how your nervous system can assist you create the life that you really want. And this builds on our first dialog about somatic and nervous system therapeutic. So in case you missed that one, I’ll hyperlink to it within the present notes. However that is one thing that was very useful to me in my restoration journey from Hashimoto’s and from trauma in my previous and so many issues. And I’m very excited to have Veronica’s voice right here at present to share her experience on this space. She is a somatic practitioner and educator and the founding father of Waking Womb, a somatic follow that facilities on therapeutic trauma by the nervous system with a particular space of concentrate on girls and relational and emotional trauma, boundary ruptures, motherhood, and a lot extra. And I believe this subject is particularly vital for girls as Veronica explains on this episode at present. So with out additional ado, let’s leap in and study from Veronica. Veronica, welcome again.
Veronica: Yeah, so good to be right here once more, Katie. Thanks.
Katie: Effectively, I’m excited to go deeper on this dialog. For any of you who missed it, we had a tremendous episode about what somatics are, what nervous system therapeutic appears like. And on this episode, I’m actually excited to dive deeper onto that and particularly the best way to use your nervous system to assist create the life that you really want since you defined so nicely within the first episode how intricately tied our nervous system is to so many features of our lives. And I believe this may be like a studying course of and a friendship with our physique that we create over our complete lifetime. However I wish to go deep on this subject that you simply speak about on-line so nicely. How will we make associates with our nervous system and use our our bodies and our nervous techniques to assist create the life we would like?
Veronica: Yeah. I actually wish to spotlight and underline what you stated about befriending our physique, as a result of particularly as girls, we’re taught two issues. We’re taught that both our physique is a nuisance, one thing to place up with, that it’s a supply of struggling and ache as girls, like we’re simply meant to place up with all types of various signs and ache and struggling, or we’re taught that our physique is an object. Our physique is an object, and it could trigger others to sin. It’s meant to be valued by the way it appears. And these are simply two examples, however I believe they’re the key ones of how we utterly disconnect from our physique. And over time, once we disconnect from our physique, we disconnect from ourselves. When we live a disembodied life, it’s going to really feel actually disorienting and signs of all types of psycho-emotional, psychological, and bodily points are going to get loud as a result of our physique is at all times speaking to us.
Proper now, as I speak to you, Katie, I really feel a spaciousness in my stomach. I really feel grounded by my pelvic bowl. There’s like slightly little bit of fluttering in my chest as a result of I’m excited. However these are all messages from my physique about what’s happening. And the extra I’m in a position to be with what my physique is saying to me with out resisting it, with out pushing it away or numbing it out, the extra my physique is aware of I’m protected, the extra psychologically my thoughts can register the flexibility to thrive, proper. So it’s actually about befriending our physique and dismantling the techniques that we’ve internalized from our tradition round, yeah, what it means to be in a physique.
Katie: That makes a lot sense. And I like that you simply touched on for girls, particularly, and the way kind of our programming can have an effect on our nervous system state, even when we don’t notice it. The truth is, it looks like for lots of girls, that is kind of a silent observe that’s at all times operating. And I do know from following you on-line that there’s a hyperlink right here to girls, particularly for reproductive well being. And I’d love so that you can elaborate on this as a result of even when we’re not making an attempt to have infants, I do know being in an optimum state of fertility can be actually vital for bodily well being and for therefore many issues, for our hormones. So are you able to speak concerning the hyperlink between trauma or nervous system dysregulation and reproductive points?
Veronica: Yeah, I’d like to. So in my very own trauma therapeutic journey, my trauma very a lot manifested in signs in my menstrual cycle. I had premenstrual dysphoric dysfunction, which is principally like PMS’s evil twin sister. It’s like all of your PMS signs on blast. I had actually painful menstrual cramps, actually heavy bleeding, and nobody may actually inform me why.
So quick ahead to love my early 20s, I resolve I’m simply going to go on the capsule, regardless that my mother has informed me you’re going to hate it. And I hated the capsule. And I do know it helps a variety of girls, however it actually is simply masking a variety of signs as an alternative of therapeutic them on the root. And it wasn’t till I solely lasted about three months on the capsule. I used to be like, I really feel like a loopy particular person. I can’t do that. It was therapeutic my nervous system and syncing with my cycle that gave me the life I at all times dreamed of residing, not simply because it was symptom-free, however as a result of I used to be in a position to harness the capability of my nervous system and my cyclicality to essentially put my desires into fruition.
And I believe there’s this lacking hyperlink between the nervous system and its influence on our fertility, on our reproductive well being. We’re lastly beginning to see extra analysis being accomplished on how trauma, as a result of it lives within the nervous system and the nervous system drives our hormonal well being, actually could cause a variety of points with our reproductive well being. So I’m actually obsessed with educating individuals, educating ladies and men, about how our nervous system actually opens up extra communication between our endocrine glands, our hormonal well being actually thrives once we heal the trauma and dysregulation that causes our hormones to be thrown out of steadiness. Yeah, I’ll begin there.
Katie: That is sensible. And it looks like this can be a crucial factor to have a look at and to work together with your physique on. Additionally, that is the work I want I may have accomplished pre-having children. I’ve fairly an extended listing of if I may return and inform my younger self issues, a variety of them would relate to this. I really feel like additionally there’s a false impression. There’s an entire lot of speak on-line proper now about manifesting and folks eager to kind of use this to their benefit. However the approaches I see don’t seem to be they actually get to the foundation of it or the center of it, just like the belongings you’re speaking about. Like not saying affirmations aren’t superior or that these issues aren’t nice as nicely. However I do know you defined this a lot better than I may on-line. However you defined how these items can solely get us to this point, that there’s really like a a lot deeper a part of that. So are you able to communicate to what you imply by that?
Veronica: Yeah, I’d like to. And, you understand, I believe it’s vital to essentially go away house for no matter therapeutic practices you like, go for it. I’m not right here to slam any of them. However I’m right here to say there’s a deeper supply to work with that’s in your nervous system, in your physique, that really will get to the foundation. So on the subject of affirmations or speaking about our issues, our trauma, our stress, there’s a sure level that we’ll hit on that journey the place it seems like I’m doing all of the issues, I’m speaking about all of the issues, I’m manifesting, I’m saying the suitable issues, however nothing is de facto altering. And I simply wish to normalize that it’s not you. It’s not that you simply’re failing at affirmations or speak remedy or any of those extra mind-centered modalities. It’s that solely 20% of the knowledge transferring between physique and mind is coming from the mind down. So there may be that 20%. It does matter, however it solely takes us to this point.
And I do know our final speak, we talked about this proportion. 80% of the knowledge transferring from physique to mind is transferring from the physique up. So if our nervous system is perceiving that we’re nonetheless underneath menace, that we have to keep in these survival states, it’s going to be sending messages to our mind that mirror that, that really feel like nervousness, like power stress, like melancholy, like disgrace, like self-criticism. And so we is perhaps making an attempt to reprogram our considering like, oh, I’ll simply say this one factor that I learn on-line time and again. But when our physique continues to be sending all of that info as much as the mind of we’re not protected, inflicting us to really feel very totally different from the affirmations that we’re saying, then the affirmations can’t work, proper? The speak remedy can solely take us to this point. And I like speak remedy, by the way in which. However, if we get into the physique, really feel our feelings, our sensations that wish to be digested from our previous, or our current, it clears up extra space for the communication to be, I can thrive. I’m attaining what I wish to obtain. I’m magnetic. Regardless of the affirmation is, we want our physique to be in alignment with that. If it’s not, we’re going to bump up into some emotions of, why can’t I get this to work? Why gained’t it work? That was me for a very long time.
Katie: Undoubtedly was me too. And I do know we went by among the fundamentals in our first episode on methods to sign the physique that it’s protected. And I believe one other a part of this that you simply simply touched on can be studying to hearken to the physique and to have that two-way communication. As a result of such as you stated, 80% of these messages come from the physique. And a minimum of talking for myself, I do know I used to be vastly disconnected from my physique for a very long time. And docs would even say like, oh, wow, you might have such a excessive ache tolerance, which wanting again, I’m like, that’s not at all times an awesome factor. I used to be not in my physique. And once I realized the best way to be extra in tune with my physique, that doesn’t imply I can’t deal with ache now, however it means I’m in a position to hear the alerts that my physique’s telling me, which is a wholesome response.
So I do know we talked about among the primary modalities within the first episode, however are you able to stroll us by a few of these ways in which we will actually sign that security, the modalities? I do know from having been by it, a minimum of for me, it was a studying course of and a gradual one. It wasn’t an in a single day change, and I didn’t simply resolve to be nervous system wholesome, and it occurred. However it was constructing a friendship with my physique. So are you able to stroll us by among the methods we will try this?
Veronica: Yeah, you understand, and I believe that basically turning into your physique’s good friend is such a good way to say it. So reflecting on the way you relate to your physique is large. If I’m dissociated, disconnected from what my physique is saying and I can’t hear it, there’s going to be a scarcity of relationship there. However that doesn’t imply that I can’t rebuild that. So approaching your relationship together with your physique such as you would any relationship. If we’ve been disconnected for a very long time, if I’ve been actually exhausting on my physique, I do know this was me for some time. I had disordered consuming. I may actually suppose and say some imply issues about my physique. It was very easy for me to fall into disgrace and self-criticism. And so we do wish to reprogram our language and the way we dialogue with our physique.
And like I stated, with any relationship, how do you make amends? How do you make restore with somebody you might have damage or ignored for a very long time? We wish to begin by listening, by having compassion, by exhibiting our physique that we care. So for instance, my dad just lately handed away, and I used to be about to share his eulogy and I felt my coronary heart begin to race earlier than I went on the stage. And up to now, even within the, you understand, within the final, like earlier than 10 years in the past, I’d have gone, oh, I don’t wish to really feel this. Oh, I don’t wish to really feel this. I’m going to floor my ft. I’m going to breathe deeply. I’m going to make it go away. Solely to really feel my coronary heart racing louder as a result of it needs, it’s doing its job. It’s making an attempt to guard me. It perceives that going up on the stage to share my dad’s eulogy goes to be scary. So as an alternative, I put my hand on my coronary heart, and I stated, I consider you. I consider you, physique. After all, you’re making an attempt to assist me keep protected proper now. After all you’re. You’re bracing towards what’s occurring as a result of it’s quite a bit. There’s quite a bit to really feel right here. And, you understand, I’m saying this to myself internally, proper? And I simply, my coronary heart simply slowly calmed down. And I obtained to share the eulogy with out it racing the entire time.
So I believe while you really feel these sensations of pressure, of bracing, of contraction, of that sympathetic cost that accelerates our coronary heart fee and offers us all these racing ideas, proper? As a substitute of getting caught within the story of, oh my God, I’m about to go on stage. I’m going to mess up. I can inform I’m too anxious. I can’t do that, proper? We get caught within the story and the meaning-making in our thoughts when our physique is like, hey, hey, I’m making an attempt to get you to really feel this. Simply come down right here and be with this expertise. The extra we may be with the expertise as an alternative of resisting it or going into some story round it, the extra our physique is aware of we’re current with it, these sensations get to downregulate, as an alternative of the physique having to scream to get our consideration, proper?
Katie: That is sensible. And I do know a pitfall that I additionally bumped into once I began making an attempt to concentrate on therapeutic was feeling responsible or egocentric, particularly as a mother to take time to do these items. And so I needed to talk to that slightly bit as a result of I do really feel like typically, and possibly at all times, girls and moms are kind of, we kind of set the nervous system tone of the home. And so if we’re dysregulated, that ripples into our children. However the flip aspect can be true. If we’re extra regulated, there appears to be a pervasive sense of calm that may exist in our properties. And it sort of additionally makes me consider all of those classes I want I had realized youthful. How can I assist my children construct a strong basis for this and let that studying expertise for me flip right into a blessing for them? So are you able to communicate to if individuals really feel responsible or egocentric after they begin making time for this? And in tandem with that, how can we create a nervous system wholesome way of life for our children from the start in order that possibly they aren’t at my age, making an attempt to determine the best way to regulate their nervous system for the primary time?
Veronica: Yeah. Oh, that is so close to and pricey to my coronary heart as a mom. And I share that very same sentiment, Katie, like there’s a lot I didn’t know earlier than I had my first son and I see it. I do see it in his nervous system and, you understand, we’re doing quite a bit and dealing collectively, and he’s made a variety of progress, however to anybody who’s like, oh, wow, I didn’t know this. And I can see the way it’s impacted my children. I simply wish to say that I’ve a variety of compassion and also you’re not alone. And, you understand, once we don’t know what we don’t know and what issues is true now, you’re studying and taking steps.
So I believe that the guilt factor is so actual for moms. We’ve internalized this sense of like, if I’m not self-sacrificing and modeling fixed productiveness, then I’m someway undeserving. I’m not going to get my medal for being the very best mother ever. What we all know now could be that with out sufficient nervous system capability, we really can’t meet the wants of these round us with out burning out, lashing out, feeling like we’re disconnected from ourselves, from our physique, feeling signs of, you understand, nervousness, melancholy. It’s important to fill your cup first, proper?
And we don’t, this doesn’t should appear like I’m going to disregard all the pieces round me. I’m doing this from the time I get up until I am going to mattress as I transfer by my day. Like I cherished your instance of like going out and getting some sunshine. I believe oftentimes we see like, oh, that is my time for the follow I do to really feel higher. After which the remainder of the day, I’m simply going to go, go, go. How would it not be to decelerate and have little micro-moments of slowness, of ease, of connection together with your physique? And that’s the place it begins. Little digestible bits add as much as a full day of regulation. And that’s going to ripple out into your loved ones, together with your associate, together with your family members, your children. It’s going to create what’s known as co-regulation. So co-regulation is when two or extra nervous techniques discover security collectively, discover that ventral vagal state the place there’s ease, there’s calm, there’s playfulness. There’s pleasure.
And if we’re in a dysregulated state, we can’t supply our children that co-regulation. Co-regulation is a nervous system dialogue. It’s not what we’re saying. It’s how we’re saying it. It’s our physique language. It’s the physique posture we exhibit, the gestures we use once we speak. Over 90% of communication is going on by our physique. So we’d memorize all the suitable strains to say as a mother, like, oh, nicely, you understand, this little one, this complete like parenting resolution informed me to say this presently. It’s not that that’s unhealthy. It’s like we may very well be saying all the suitable issues, however speaking one thing utterly totally different by our physique to our children that may trigger them. They usually’re extremely perceptive little creatures, they’re like, you stated that, you understand, it’s OK, however I felt one thing utterly totally different from you. So simply enthusiastic about how one can develop into extra embodied and the way that can actually ripple out into your complete household and invite them to be of their our bodies and really feel regulated as nicely.
Katie: Yeah, such an awesome perspective. And like I stated, I do know that shift is usually a gradual constructing course of, however completely value doing. And I do know additionally evidently nervous system well being is usually a little totally different for every particular person. So this can be a little bit about discovering the issues which are going to be the largest needle movers for every of us. However may you share possibly what an awesome nervous system day appears like for you or like when all the pieces is in line and you’re feeling superior, possibly among the issues that assist to provide individuals a springboard into determining their very own practices?
Veronica: Yeah, I like that. For me, having a slower morning is at all times nice. Having a while to, yeah, get exterior with my tea, get my ft within the grass, solar on my pores and skin. It’s actually chilly in Chicago proper now. So I’m simply daydreaming about that. After which connection. So I’m connecting to my physique. I can really feel and listen to the messages, the tales my nervous system is saying on that day. And my physique is speaking ease and calm and capability to get issues accomplished, however capability to relaxation.
And so ideally, there’s waves all through our day of productiveness adopted by relaxation. Upregulation adopted by downregulation. We wish to create that rhythm as a way to recalibrate our nervous system. So I’m taking breaks. I’m not seeing my purchasers back-to-back with no time to eat. I’ve accomplished this earlier than. I don’t suggest it. Proper? There’s breaks. Even when they’re tiny breaks, they actually add up. And that creates a way of security and reference to others. So being round individuals who you understand radiate security, radiate playfulness. They offer you that sense of ease simply by being them. These are the individuals or the animals or the timber that you simply wish to spend time with to essentially obtain that co-regulatory expertise, after which noticing like, who’re the individuals once I’m with them that my physique braces and tenses and doesn’t really feel protected? Simply one thing to get interested by, proper? So if I may summarize my preferrred nervous system day, it could be simply that rhythm of we get stuff accomplished and we relaxation. We activate, we deactivate, proper?
Katie: Sure, completely. And studying that rhythm. And like all these practices that you simply talked about, it’s that gradual friendship with our physique, studying that rhythm, discovering extra grace, ease, and pleasure in our each day lives and letting that stress slowly disarm. I do know additionally for me, it was useful you probably have a really particular trauma such as you, I don’t low cost speak remedy, however I did discover it was useful to work with practitioners who may transcend speak remedy into addressing that trauma. And that’s clearly one thing too nuanced for us to essentially resolve in a podcast episode, however I do know you might have an amazing quantity of sources obtainable for this. And I’m personally very excited to get to continue to learn from you. So for anyone who needs to study together with me from you, the place can they discover you on-line and the place would you suggest that they begin?
Veronica: Yeah, so I’ve an internet site, waking-womb.com. You’ll find all my choices there. And I do supply a variety of schooling on my Instagram. So my Instagram is wakingwomb. And I’ve a free useful resource, a free pop-up podcast for everyone at thetruthabouttriggers.com. And It’s a pop-up podcast, a three-part podcast the place you’re going to study all about triggers and the best way to heal them by your nervous system designed particularly for girls.
Katie: And that hyperlink shall be within the present notes as nicely for all of you guys who’re listening on the go or driving children. I do know that’s how I typically eat podcasts. I’ll be sure to guys can discover it. Please come study together with me. However for now, Veronica, thanks a lot. Like I stated to start with, I believe this subject is so vital. And as you defined so nicely, particularly for girls. So to all the ladies and mothers listening, I hope that is a tremendous place to begin to start this journey. Thanks for sharing and to your knowledge at present.
Veronica: Thanks a lot, Katie.
Katie: And thanks, as at all times, for listening and sharing your most useful sources, your time, your power, and your consideration with us at present. We’re each so grateful that you simply did. And I hope that you’ll be part of me once more on the following episode of The Wellness Mama Podcast.
Should you’re having fun with these interviews, would you please take two minutes to depart a ranking or assessment on iTunes for me? Doing this helps extra individuals to seek out the podcast, which implies much more mothers and households may gain advantage from the knowledge. I actually respect your time, and thanks as at all times for listening.
