Life updates, pregnancy & how to get out of a mental rut :)

Guys, HIIII!! I’m scripting this put up by the ocean, listening to the calming vibration of the waves crashing in opposition to the shore in Malibu and feeling the cool ocean breeze on my pores and skin. Sipping a black iced tea drowning in stevia after all. And listening to the birds chirping and enjoying. It’s a foggy day, my favourite, as a result of it means it’s formally the start of fall. And it’s additionally the primary day of Libra season, and also you know how I really feel about that!!! As a lot as I really like fall I’ve to confess I’m trapped in a number of blankets proper now as a result of something below 75 levels chills my California soul to the bone, lol.

I’m setting the scene for you as a result of this vibe by the ocean makes my soul really feel ALIVE. I’ve been in a psychological and bodily rut this summer time, I assume we will simply get into it. However now, with the onset of this new season and what I do know to be a real shift having taken place inside me, I’m slowly starting to really feel a lot extra like myself. I really feel like ten million bricks have been lifted off of my chest, particularly with the shifts that happened after this week’s Pisces full moon. I really feel like myself once more, however a brand new self — a brand new me after strolling by way of the fireplace. Additionally I’m type of like… What number of occasions does one human must stroll by way of the fireplace?! It’s an ever-evolving a part of the human journey, I supposed. However right here we’re. 🙂

The rut I skilled this summer time was a mix of a variety of issues. Plenty of it was, you guessed it, being pregnant associated. I really like new experiences (and I PRAYED for this expertise, so I’m grateful it doesn’t matter what) however after they must do with my physique quickly altering and my ache and discomfort ranges growing dramatically — after which a bunch of my common therapeutic modalities are taken off the desk — it takes me a while to regulate!! Being such a extremely delicate individual in my physique has positively made the entire emotions and feelings in being pregnant really feel extra vital than I ever imagined they’d.

So, the being pregnant updates. I’m formally 27 weeks pregnant this Saturday, which implies I’m only a week away from being in my third trimester! HOW! I understand now greater than something that being pregnant is a journey into the soul in and of itself. This is the reason they are saying in most non secular teachings that being pregnant is what prepares you for motherhood, as a result of now the entire sudden the mom’s life is not nearly her. Her physique is taken over, actually and figuratively, and her each transfer begins to be completely different as a result of now her life is about another person — who instantly and instantly feels a lot extra essential and fragile in each means!

You guys, you recognize me. I’m a insurgent by design. Sometimes I do the other of what I’m advised. So being pregnant and now having my child boy’s must put earlier than my very own, I discover myself being much more cautious. For instance, a lot of what has been an enormous a part of my therapeutic isn’t accessible for me in being pregnant. A couple of of these issues have been infrared sauna, cryotherapy, cupping, psychedelics, ketamine IV’s, scorching yoga (my every day observe since I used to be 14!!), medicinal mushrooms, adaptogens, Worldwide journey (I MISS YOU BALI), the record goes on. I all the time thought that it could be really easy to present all of that up once I obtained pregnant, or that I’d be my common rebellious self and do most of it anyway, however right here we’re. I’ve not felt comfy doing any of these issues, which has led me to lean into new methods of coping. In the end it’s been good as a result of it’s taught me lots to search out new methods to manage, however I can not say that it has been straightforward.

They are saying it’s frequent to be extremely cautious in your first being pregnant, and that’s completely how I’ve been. I’ve barely even gotten on a aircraft within the final 7 months!! Solely twice for very particular circumstances. I haven’t gotten my nails accomplished, I didn’t contact caffeine for the primary trimester, I’ve opted out of most massive gatherings aside from a couple of essential and particular weddings, you guys get the image! And truthfully a variety of that has been a RELIEF and a breath of recent air. I noticed once I obtained pregnant that I used to be nonetheless working below such extraordinarily excessive stress always. Needing to be every little thing to everybody, to be in all places, to make my enterprise the very best it may be, overcommit and overachieve in all of the methods. Though I’ve slowed down lots over time I noticed I nonetheless had/have such an extended technique to go.

So most of this, dare I say it, has been an excellent factor! I really feel like I get a crash course in motherhood, and I can hope in some ways in which my postpartum journey could also be simpler (I’m manifesting this) as a result of I’ve gone by way of so many troublesome feelings all through the entire being pregnant. Who is aware of if that is simply wishful pondering however it is sensible to me that it might be true.

I wished to write down this put up as a result of I wish to let you know guys the ways in which I’ve put myself again collectively once more, and have discovered my happiness once more after feeling actually out of types for a number of months.

How I’ve discovered my happiness after a tough few months:

However not simply discovered my happiness, I’ve discovered a brand new happiness. A stronger, extra grounded, extra resilient one. That’s such an essential factor to recollect. That after we actually undergo the wringer, we turn into a lot extra resilient. I’m not merely feeling happier now, I’m feeling fairly rattling unshakeable. I’ve seen some DARK days, between Lyme and now having a tougher time adjusting to a brand new part of life, and I do know everybody right here has been by way of their very own kind of darkness. Perhaps you haven’t, and if that’s the case… possibly you’re avoiding feeling it? Lol.

I’m so freaking grateful for the darkish days, as a result of they’re paving means for me to see and really feel and expertise a lot new gentle. This morning I felt like I used to be chained to my mattress as a result of my again ache was SO BAD and I even have been getting no sleep this week. I had a migraine, mind fog, pinched nerve ache radiating by way of my physique, the entire works. It additionally jogged my memory of Lyme, which is rarely enjoyable and all the time exhausting to get previous. So I acknowledged my previous sample creeping up, “You need to simply keep in mattress, save your power, don’t transfer round as a result of it would damage too dangerous, let’s simply scroll Instagram and serve the group right here by posting and so on and so on” and I noticed no, that’s the poisonous sample that I wish to get out of!

So as a substitute, I learn a couple of chapters of a superb e book I’m into proper at times peeled myself away from bed to do a brief Melissa Wooden Well being prenatal move. Key phrase: quick. I felt like my power had been sucked out of me into the earth earlier than I began. I’m telling you the one factor that obtained me away from bed was the sheer figuring out that if I stayed in mattress, it was about to be a extremely miserable day. However then, as soon as I obtained shifting, and the cracks began taking place in my physique and my joints began loosening up, after which my coronary heart charge rose a bit and I began to sweat… I began to really feel alive once more. Energetic, even! After which you recognize what occurs from there as soon as the endorphins begin flowing. Every little thing begins to get higher.

One large factor I need you guys to know (particularly you probably have persistent sickness or are having a troublesome being pregnant) is that you just don’t have to bust your ass in a exercise to get the psychological well being advantages of an endorphin rush. You additionally don’t must have any power to begin a exercise. You may crawl your means onto your yoga mat subsequent to your mattress like I’ve accomplished many 1000’s of occasions in my life, and simply lay in baby’s pose. Placed on some good music. Normally, virtually all the time, extra motion will come. Even just a bit bit. And it’ll really feel wonderful,

After that morning move I felt on high of the world. I felt just like the power of the universe was flowing by way of me, and I began getting downloads proper and left. The primary obtain being: we’re accountable for our personal happiness. Nobody else can do it for us. Nobody can create it for us, and nobody can take it away from us. We’re all accountable for what makes us really feel alive, and it’s as much as us to DO THAT and go after it.

It’s so easy, actually. My private system for feeling good is: motion, nature, respiration, writing, gratitude, deal with individuals I really like, presence, repeat.

If I do every of these issues every single day, I’m completely happy. Right now is a type of days. I did 30-ish minutes of motion, I’m presently sitting outdoors by the seaside, specializing in my breath, I wrote in my journal for an hour this afternoon, I’m feeling DEEP gratitude for my life and all that it’s, I’ve spoken to and unfold like to many individuals I really like and care about right this moment (simply through textual content/telephone), and Jonathan is assembly me out right here in Malibu for dinner tonight so I’ll put the tech away and simply be within the MOMENT with him!

It’s unhappy for me to consider the entire days, each just lately and all through my life, that a lot of these issues didn’t exist in my everyday life. After I was actually sick and in addition actually in ache from the being pregnant I satisfied myself that I couldn’t transfer, I couldn’t train or stroll, and that it could simply make issues worse to get outdoors and go away my mattress. I positively wasn’t specializing in my breath or affirmations, and I used to be feeling so low I wasn’t working towards a variety of gratitude or presence or actually spending high quality time with my family members. I’ll say that even on my worst days I continued writing, and that helped me a lot.

This morning once I had this realization of my easy private system for happiness, I used to be elated. I can not even let you know. I already knew all this stuff, however being reminded how EASY it’s to really feel good… and the way in management I’m of it and that nobody else can take any of these issues away from me… felt revolutionary.

Should you listened to my solo episode from yesterday, then you recognize I’ve additionally handled a variety of cyber bullying this 12 months. From large journalists and small web trolls alike. It has been exhausting, and has left me questioning in some ways do I even WANT a life on the web? So the conclusion this morning that struck me particularly was that nobody can take my happiness away from me.

After I really feel aligned, once I be at liberty, and open, and completely happy, and I’m placing myself first and what I would like — the enjoyment simply radiates. It feels so good. And in that case, no quantity of judgment or strangers hating on the web might ever take my peace away from me.

THAT feels good.

So all the time bear in mind my loves, nobody can take your happiness from you + you might be accountable for your personal happiness in each means.

If you’re having a tough day, there’ll all the time be a greater day to observe.

Should you really feel just like the darkness is endless, do one thing to change up your routine. Decide to YOU. It’s so true that the littlest issues in our day are the issues which have the facility to alter our lives.

Another fast updates: I’m feeling tremendous impressed to let the power of the universe move by way of me proper now, to create meditations for you guys, write the books which might be coming by way of, get our dwelling prepared for child boy, and permit these shifts permeating in my life to essentially take maintain.

What are you enthusiastic about proper now? Did you have to hear something particular on this put up that spoke to you? Let me know. 🙂 Love you all a lot, and can’t wait to write to you once more very quickly.