As informed to Shannon Shelton Miller
I all the time dreamed of being an expert singer. Rising up within the church, I started singing from an early age and I’ve a ardour for soulful R&B.
For too lengthy, my dream remained simply that — a dream. I obtained married, had youngsters and immersed myself in elevating a household. I used to be so centered on caring for everybody else that I ignored the ache I felt in 2015 whereas breastfeeding my third baby. Once I went to see the physician, I used to be informed the ache was from swollen milk ducts, and I pressed on by means of the ache.
By 2017, I used to be going by means of a divorce and going through monetary struggles, all whereas nonetheless coping with breast ache. I made an appointment with a unique physician in the identical follow, who instantly referred me for a mammogram and a biopsy that exposed I had stage 3 breast cancer.
That turned out to be the wake-up name I wanted. I used to be so used to being a spouse and mom and doing for everyone else that I didn’t handle myself or do the issues that made me pleased. There have been so many issues I knew I wished to do, and I hadn’t accomplished any of them. I’d solely taken child steps towards pursuing a singing profession, performing as a soloist at just a few occasions and live shows, however my breast most cancers prognosis made me understand it was now or by no means!
After I completed remedy and went into remission in 2018, I threw myself into my singing profession, and shortly my band and I have been reserving and promoting out reveals all through my hometown of Jacksonville, Florida. And there have been much more reveals to come back — in 2019, I carried out on stage on the historic Apollo Theater in New York Metropolis! I’d watched Apollo performances on TV since I used to be a baby and all the time mentioned I might sing on that stage in the future too. Not solely did I sing there, I gained the Novice Evening competitors twice. It was an expertise like none different.
I sang and I traveled the world — going from Europe to the Caribbean, and basking in each a part of the journey. I vowed I might journey overseas yearly for my birthday, hoping to go to each nation on the earth at the very least as soon as.
Monique Denise performing on the legendary Apollo Theater in 2019. (Photograph/Tony Austin)
In early 2020, the pandemic put these journey desires on maintain and slowed down my singing profession. I used to be nonetheless making an attempt to work indirectly, however I had additionally been coping with extreme again ache for about 5 months. I couldn’t get away from bed. I couldn’t choose up my purse. My major physician tried to deal with my points, pondering they have been unrelated to my previous breast most cancers prognosis, however I may solely see her by means of digital appointments so she wasn’t in a position to study me.
On Saturday, Might 17, 2020, I went to a video shoot and was in a lot ache the complete day, I took myself straight to the emergency room when it was over. The physician there ordered an ultrasound and CT scan, and I used to be informed they’d discovered proof of most cancers.
I used to be now at stage 4: metastatic breast most cancers. I used to be devastated.
I went again into remedy and my most cancers was secure for some time till we discovered in early April that my tumors have been nonetheless rising, a portion of my backbone had not hardened and I had an impending fracture that wanted instant consideration. Though the most cancers began in my breast, it was now in my lungs, lymph nodes in my chest, adrenal glands, liver, bones and blood. As soon as within the blood, sadly, each a part of your physique is in danger. When it obtained into my bones, it made them extra vulnerable to wreck, and I now have areas alongside my vertebrae which might be crushed and components of my ribs which might be fractured. I nonetheless undergo from lymphedema from my first bout with most cancers as a result of I had 22 lymph nodes eliminated. The tumor depend in my blood has additionally elevated.
It’s quite a bit to deal with!
There’s quite a lot of downtime when you’ve got this illness and quite a lot of time to fall into melancholy, so it’s simple to get caught up in regrets and wishful pondering. To ward it off, I attempt to hold singing as a lot as I can as a result of so long as I’ve one thing else to deal with, I gained’t have time to be depressed.
Music is what makes me pleased — that’s why I carry out. I don’t need that taken away from me. Music can be my platform to encourage others and provides them motivation and inspiration to look past the challenges they could have. Simply watching how a lot enjoyable individuals are having and the grins I placed on their faces when my band and I carry out is superb. It makes every part price it.
I do have moments the place I really feel like I don’t know what’s going to occur, however my family members and my docs all the time encourage me. They inform me how a lot drugs and expertise are evolving, and about individuals who’ve been residing with stage 4 most cancers for a few years now. I do know different folks in my state of affairs wish to set short-term targets, however I refuse to do this. I’m decided that I’m going to be right here for some years. In my thoughts, I’m going to be right here to look at all of my youngsters graduate, get married and begin their careers.
I wrote a music referred to as “Journey” the primary time I used to be recognized with breast most cancers. It’s about going by means of the method, coping with the illness and overcoming. I wrote the music to present hope to anybody combating most cancers or going through one other tough battle. We could not perceive why that is occurring to us, however we have now a narrative to inform.
And my story isn’t over. Actually, for me, my prognosis was when my life actually started.
This useful resource was created with assist from Merck and Sanofi.
