There are numerous advantages to dressing with a minimalist wardrobe, however for me, essentially the most highly effective has been self-confidence. Hearken to this episode of the Merely + Fiercely present to listen to extra about my journey from crippling insecurity to self-love and the way simplifying made all of it attainable.
On this Episode:
- The story behind my purchasing dependancy
- What occurred once I decluttered my wardrobe
- The hyperlink between dressing with much less and self-confidence
- How I can assist you declutter your closet
Featured In This Episode:
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Whats up, and welcome to The Merely and Fiercely present a podcast for girls who wish to clear their litter and create area for freedom and pleasure. In case your life retains getting greater, however not higher, maintain listening to study decluttering from the within out. It’s about making a life that’s aligned along with your values and priorities. So you may have extra of what issues, and fewer of what does it. I’m your host, Jennifer, and I’m so glad you’re right here. Let’s get began.
Hey, everybody, it’s Jen right here, and welcome to episode 11 of The Merely and Fiercely Present. Right now, I wish to discuss to you about my minimalist wardrobe. And now as most of it’s possible you’ll know, for those who’ve heard me in weblog posts on social media, I’m very, very enthusiastic about this subject, I imagine that dressing with much less is so highly effective. Actually, one factor that I usually discuss is how decluttering my closet and simplifying my wardrobe has tremendously elevated my self esteem and the way I really feel about myself. And I do know that I’ve gone on about this tons of instances in numerous locations. However what I noticed right now is that I don’t assume I’ve ever totally defined the connection between the 2, proper, defined how dressing with much less has helped me overcome, which in all honesty was actually crippling anxiousness and insecurity about my look. In order that’s what I assumed I’d discuss with you about right now, as a result of I believe it’s a reasonably vital subject. And I believe the easiest way to start out is at the start. So I’ll simply let you know just a little bit about how I used to really feel about myself. So the reality is, I at all times was painfully insecure. Like, I do know what occurs to all people. No person simply wakes up in the future and simply magically feels higher about themselves. However for me, it began from a very younger age. Even in main college, I bear in mind hating the best way higher quite a bit. Clearly, this can be a podcast, and you may’t see me. However for many who don’t know, I’m half Chinese language. And I grew up in a spot the place there weren’t numerous Asian youngsters. And I had this actually spherical face and my mom used to make me get this horrendous bowl minimize. And even then, like, I believe it was like your one. Lots of people couldn’t inform if I used to be a boy or a lady. And I bear in mind actually, actually younger being simply hating the best way that I appeared, wishing that I appear to be the opposite youngsters in my college. It actually hits me exhausting now as a result of I’ve a daughter who’s 5 years outdated, and he or she simply began college. And it’s so exhausting for me to think about like taking a look at her now that she may hate the best way that she seems that she may really feel disgusted when she appeared within the mirror or want that she appeared like any person else. However honestly, that’s how I bear in mind feeling as younger as like six or seven years outdated, and desirous to be like blonde. Like all the ladies in my class who I assumed had been actually lovely. Actually younger, I began to really feel this insecurity about my look, as I’m certain you may think about solely bought a bit worse as I bought into my teenage years and into my early 20s. It was one thing the place like, I used to be a clumsy teenager once more, I didn’t appear to be different folks, though I did understand that I may sort of slot in if I performed by the principles, if that is sensible. In order that’s why honestly, I believe my purchasing dependancy began, I noticed the primary time I ever heard of the hole, I believe I used to be like 13 my household didn’t have some huge cash, we didn’t actually store. I assumed the hole was like a excessive finish store. We didn’t actually store in these sorts of retailers. However once I began seeing different folks carrying these garments, and I bear in mind shopping for this primary T shirt from the hole, um, I can bear in mind it now it was prefer it was actually ugly. It was like simply turquoise stripes. However I assumed I used to be so cool in it, and it helped me really feel higher about myself. That’s the place I began studying this sample very early on that although I hated how I appeared, although I felt hardly insecure, however I may use issues to cover that from folks. As I begin shopping for garments, make-up. You already know, as quickly as I may earn some cash, I had an element time job fairly younger. In order quickly as I begin incomes cash, I might begin shopping for make-up, garments, something that I assumed may sort of conceal me from the world. And it helped me really feel higher about myself. Although deep down. I used to be horrified once I appeared into the mirror. And in order I stated that actually actually went by in my late 20s early 30s Which is sort of embarrassing. However the reality is it simply spiraled uncontrolled. I ended up full blown Shopaholic by my late 20s I used to be utilizing purchasing to cover all kinds of insecurities however my mother and father had been nonetheless the most important one. It was form of prefer to be fully sincere with you. I used to be at this stage the place if I didn’t have a full hour to do my hair and make-up to select what I assumed you recognize, after I attempted on like 2030 outfits and placed on the one which I assumed was just like the trendiest if I didn’t have that point I did didn’t even wish to go away the home. Like I can bear in mind sitting on my flooring form of in tears, my companion on the time can be like ready for me to go someplace. And I might be like, No, I don’t even wish to go away the home, I simply wish to keep dwelling. I simply hated the best way that I appeared so badly. And you recognize, I can see that now, as a result of I used to be doing a little decluttering going by some outdated stuff. And I noticed that between, like, I don’t know, possibly being a younger baby again on the age the place your mother and father nonetheless had been those who took pictures of you, till nearly 30, I’ve nearly no footage of myself. And that’s as a result of I couldn’t stand the best way I look. I believe I used to be in my early 20s, when digital cameras grew to become a mainstream, reasonably priced factor. And on the time, I used to be truly dwelling in London, I used to be touring, you recognize what lots of people would contemplate a very nice life. And you’d think about that I might wish to doc that. And I did, I took a number of footage of mates and those who I met in lovely locations. However I nonetheless took hardly any pictures of myself. And if I did, I threw them away, or I deleted them. As a result of I used to be horrified by how I appeared on digicam. In order that’s how I used to really feel. Quick ahead to now I’m almost 42. For reference, I’ve had two youngsters, what’s regular nowadays, however I believe that I appear to be a sort of regular girl. My stomach is just a little bit soiled. I’ve pimples scars and you recognize, little wrinkles popping up issues that my mind is aware of that I quote unquote, ought to hate about myself. But the reality is, I actually don’t, which is a bit nearly feels odd to say. Actually, once I mirror on how far I’ve come previously 10 years, it actually like blows my thoughts of how I may go from this one that actually used to spend a major period of time sitting in entrance of the mirror, in tears, simply hating the best way I look again. Really, I did see an outdated picture of myself. Not that way back, the place I bear in mind it simply jogged my memory the stage the place I had this account of myself this horrible, actually thick fringe or bangs, which actually didn’t swimsuit me, however I minimize them and I appreciated them. As a result of it made me really feel like I may conceal from the world, proper? I’ve actually thick hair. And so I might put on my like thick, lengthy hair down with actually thick bangs. And it was like just a bit tiny little bit of my face would come out. I used to be simply so uncomfortable, proper. And now, I don’t look within the mirror and assume, oh my gosh, I’m a supermodel or something, however I do look within the mirror and I say, you recognize, I don’t hate me. And once I dress and I stroll into my home, I you recognize, have my chin held excessive and I believe I’m pleased. Have you learnt I’m pleased with how I look, I’m assured I’m not apprehensive about how I look in comparison with different folks, I simply genuinely really feel actually good in my pores and skin. Which I at all times really feel bizarre saying as a result of it nearly seems like a little bit of a cocky or an boastful factor to say, however it’s true. I really feel incredible, truly. And for those who’re in search of proof, I used to be occupied with this the opposite day, I’ve simply ventured into creating reels on Instagram. Everyone says these are the belongings you’ve bought to do right now to attach with folks. So I’ve given it a strive. And I assumed I might hate it however truly had numerous enjoyable with it. And revel in speaking. As a few of you can in all probability inform I get pleasure from speaking particularly about minimalism and decluttering. However previously, I was a bit nervous about being on video simply due to this insecurity I felt about myself. However like I used to be filming a few of these the opposite day and I used to be simply, you recognize, I take a look at the footage. And I don’t assume I look superb, however there’s issues like oh, yeah, in all probability, possibly ought to have put some mascara on or combed my hair or one thing. However on the similar time, I’m positive. I can publish it on the web realizing that, you recognize, doubtlessly 10s of 1000s folks see it I can take care of. And as I stated 10 years in the past, 15 years in the past, I couldn’t even take an image of me in an expertise that was as soon as of a lifetime as a result of I used to be so horrified of simply taking a look at it myself. So that’s my private journey of how I’ve gone from crippling insecurity to I might say feeling good about myself. Now you’re in all probability questioning, what does this should do with minimalism? What does it should do with minimalist stressing? And the way did this occur? I’m going to share this quote from a ebook that I learn, that has nothing to do with minimalism or decluttering. But it surely simply form of some gentle bulbs in my mind. And the ebook is named that is advertising by Seth Godin. So sure, as I stated nothing about minimalism are declared. Right here we go. Normalization creates tradition. And tradition drives our selections, which ends up in extra normalization. So now I break this down and clarify the way it applies to me and the adjustments that I’ve went by and the way It in all probability applies to as effectively. Normalization creates tradition. So from a really younger age, as I stated, I normalized utilizing garments to assist me take care of IBM Safety. And searching again, the best way I give it some thought is it was nearly like a masks, proper? So once I’m feeling sort of crappy about myself, and I don’t wish to go away the home, I can placed on an costly pair of heels and a full face of basis and carry my costly purse, and sort of really feel a bit higher about myself. So I normalize that, proper. I normalize that, over 15 years. And that grew to become tradition, you can argue that that’s a tradition you recognize about society is complete. However at a minimal, it was my very own inner tradition. That’s how I lived, these had been my beliefs. And that drove my selections, proper, so I might store compulsively, and it was pushed by this have to be accepted, this have to be liked, to cover my insecurity from the world, as a result of that’s the tradition the place I lived. And naturally, what occurred, the extra I purchased, the extra I strengthened these, that interior tradition, which, as Seth Godin says that it’s going to result in extra normalization. So I’m caught on this tradition loop. And simply the best way he defined it, that basically resonated with me, the extra I bought used to seeing myself a sure means, you recognize, as I stated, behind my masks, the extra the considered eradicating my masks grew to become so daunting, it’s like, I didn’t even know who I used to be what I appear to be, beneath all of these things, quote, unquote. Ultimately, as a few of you may have recognized my story, I began decluttering. And, after all, we frequently begin with our closets, which is nice. I’ll clarify that why I believe that in a minute, however begin decluttering my closet, actually, it did take me fairly a number of years to do, I discovered that numerous the decluttering recommendation, particularly for garments that exists on the market doesn’t work effectively, for me, you recognize, there’s sort of this conventional thought, you simply dump every little thing in your mattress, and also you pull issues out separately, and also you strive them on and determine what to maintain. I discovered that to be very disturbing and arbitrary. So I truly finally got here up with my very own system for closet decluttering, which I believe is much more intentional, which I educate in a program that I created. That’s referred to as the One Day closet cleanse. So I’ll hyperlink to that within the present notes. And I’ll let you know extra about that on the finish of the episode. However anyway, so I lastly begin to make this progress of decluttering my closet, and each time that I declutter it articles of clothes, proper? If I let you know that I used to be considering of it like a masks, it was like taking off the masks. So the much less I needed to conceal behind, the extra I needed to get use to see myself within the mirror to being myself with out all of this stuff that I clung to. That made me really feel higher, proper. It was like placing down my safety blanket. And clearly, at first, it felt horrible. It was so uncomfortable. I felt like crap. I used to be like, I look horrible. Who am I with out all of this stuff that used to outline me. However once more, for those who return to this cycle, normalization creates tradition, tradition drives our selections. So the extra time I spent, with out this stuff, as soon as I began to declutter my life, let’s begin to eliminate you recognize, I was the kind who would put on 4 inch heels to the grocery store. And I do know that in all probability sounds a bit ridiculous to some folks, however no judgment for those who like doing that, however it didn’t come from a spot of me having fun with it, it got here from a spot of me being I’m so hideous, that I must put on 4 inch heels to go grocery purchasing, simply so that individuals don’t take a look at me and assume one thing’s flawed along with her. I don’t even know what I used to be afraid of it was so I’m not saying that my fears had been logical, simply to be clear, however I had these fears that compelled me to do this stuff. However anyway, as I begin to declutter, now, I’m going out into the world as simply my regular self writes, and now I’m going out to the grocery store carrying a pair of Birkenstocks, like most individuals do. Anyway, I needed to get used to that, proper, I normalized what I appeared like, I normalized who I used to be with out these additional issues in my life. And over time, it went by this course of of making a brand new tradition. Proper, so now I’m beginning to really feel extra snug. It’s sort of like you may have you ever both you’ve coloured your hair or somebody that you recognize, has finished like a very excessive hair dye, proper? They’ve gone from like, blonde to brown. And once you first see them, it’s like a store and also you’re like, oh my god, what have you recognize, you’re not even certain for those who’d prefer it, as a result of it’s only a shock to your senses. After which once you get used to it, you then’re like, oh, truly, I prefer it. However simply at first, it was so stunning, proper? It’s kinda like that this complete idea of normalization creates tradition. It was I needed to normalize seeing myself with out all these little fancy ins and outs that I used to be including to my life. And as I did, I began to have a look at my elfin the mirror to be fully frank. Oh, that’s what I appear to be, sort of forgotten. Once I was scuffling with insecurity and I had so many garments you haven’t any thought I used to be such a shopaholic, so many garments, so many sneakers, so many luggage. It’s nearly once I would look within the mirror allowance wasn’t even taking a look at my face, proper? I had all these distractions. And possibly possibly I hoped different folks would do the identical. However now as I’ve put down the distractions, proper, if I’m simply carrying, what I noticed I felt most snug in is fairly fundamental garments to instance, I’m actually like a T shirt and denim sort of lady. And so once I’m carrying that, and I look within the mirror, you recognize, my garments are overwhelming me, I’m taking a look at my mirror proper now, as I’m filming this, I’m taking a look at my face, proper, and I’ve to get used to seeing my face. And in order I get used so as to add, that drives my selections, as I get used to simply be me with out all these extras, I begin to make selections which can be in alignment with that. Once more, this didn’t occur in a single day. I didn’t go from like, I hate myself too. I like myself in 24 hours. It was in actually, you recognize, a number of 12 months interval. And with annually, I truly really feel an increasing number of snug. However I began to do issues like I ended dyeing my grey hair about 4 years in the past, in 2018, I ended dyeing my grey hair. And that was stunning a bit at first, however then I bought used to it. And now it’s simply a part of who I’m. And it doesn’t shock me getting older, I began getting actually delicate eyes. So I just about stopped carrying eye make-up altogether, as a result of it at all times irritates my eyes. So I needed to get used to wanting on the mirror my little Asian eyes with out tons of mascara nonetheless put on just a little bit, however I undoubtedly don’t put on eyeshadow anymore. And so all these little issues, which I’m not saying that it’s good to do, I’m not saying it’s good to quit make-up or cease dyeing your hair. However what I’m saying is that you just declutter, you might be letting go the belongings you had been hiding behind, proper. And so it’s a cycle, you get a bit extra. First you normalize. First, you simply get used to being your self with out all this additional stuff. And you then’ve bought that area, like a fertile floor to begin to love your self. Proper, you’re by no means going to like your grey hair, for those who solely see it for a few days. And you then colour it with dye. Proper, you’re by no means going to like what you appear to be with out sure outfits, you recognize, with out sure equipment that you just by no means get your self to not put on them. That’s how minimalist dressing despatched me down the trail of self acceptance and actually loving myself. And actually, that is why I imagine that crucial decluttering mission that you are able to do is decluttering your closet. It’s simply so private, your garments inform story, proper? There’s a lot extra than simply garments, they mirror your fears, your insecurities, your hopes, your goals, who you would like you had been, who you assume you ought to be, proper? I imply, you undergo the method of decluttering your closet, you get the sensible advantages, it’s simpler to dress, you get these much less tangible advantages, like feeling higher about your self. However I additionally assume that once you begin with decluttering, your closet, otherwise you don’t essentially have to start out there. However once you try this mission, it empowers you to simplify anything, like the talents that you just study what you undergo having to deal with decluttering, your closet is so empowering. After which you may declutter, you may take what you’ve realized and apply it to anything, like anything in your house goes to be easy in comparison with decluttering your closet. In order I stated, if that is one thing that you just need assistance with, I do have a novel program. It’s referred to as the One Day Closet Cleanse. It’s in contrast to something that I’ve ever encountered, the place we take a very private strategy to exploring your relationship along with your closet, we additionally take a very intentional take a look at what makes you’re feeling good. And we craft your closet across the garments that you just actually like to put on. Proper. So we’re not doing this arbitrary technique of simply sorting by every little thing, as a result of I’m not attempting to be impolite. However for those who had been good at making selections about your garments, you wouldn’t form of Want Assist decluttering within the first place, proper? So um, that’s my program. It’s the in the future closet cleanse. Once more, I’ll hyperlink that within the present notes, and you may test it out. However the different factor I needed to say is, as a form of particular promotion, I’m internet hosting a free workshop for anybody who’s in this system. So it doesn’t matter for those who’re listening to this and also you’re like why purchased the in the future trigger it cleanse two years in the past, don’t fear, you’ll get this invitation. However for those who’ve been occupied with shopping for this system, now’s the perfect time it’s going to be a dwell workshop on the sixteenth of March at 7pm Jap Normal Time, and I’m going to be instructing two issues. The principle workshop goes to be about the way to cease shopping for garments that you just by no means put on. We touched on that in this system, however I felt prefer it wanted its personal particular workshop. Simply since you’re decluttering is pointless for those who can’t cease purchasing, proper? It’s like attempting to scrub up a leaky faucet with out turning off the faucet. It’s important to minimize it off on the supply first studying how To manage your purchasing goes hand in hand with decluttering your closet. And what’s higher as a result of it’s a dwell workshop, I’m going to be giving folks the chance to ask questions on something that has to do with purchasing, or closet decluttering. Okay, so for those who’re listening to this earlier than the sixteenth of March, go join this system and also you’ll get to return to the workshop. You’re going to ask to a workshop dwell, or for those who’re listening to this sooner or later. The excellent news is for those who join this system, the in the future calls it will probably cleanse, you’ll nonetheless get entry to the replay. Okay, thanks all in your time and for letting me be weak with you. And I hope you may have a beautiful day and I hope I’ll be seeing you on that dwell workshop. Okay, have a great day. Bye.
Thanks for listening to The Merely and Fiercely Present. If you wish to study extra, you may obtain my free conscious decluttering information and study all of the secrets and techniques that helped me go from shopaholic to minimalist all it’s good to do is go to simplyfiercely.com/freeguide that’s all one phrase to get instantaneous entry. Till subsequent time, thanks once more.
