As a meditation instructor who has been meditating for greater than twenty years, it’s truthful to say that I’ve realized an important deal concerning the observe. I’ve realized what does and doesn’t work. I’ve realized the pitfalls that maintain folks again from progressing in meditation. And I’ve realized considered one of most basic errors folks make. It’s a mistake I actually made for greater than 5 years. That mistake is Utilizing mindfulness and meditation as escapism.
It’s a mistake that’s all too simple to make. Inevitably all of us undergo struggling, as Buddha mentioned. All of us face stress, anxiousness, worries… Certainly, proper now, as I write this, two of my closest buddies are in hospital, and I’m most definitely fearful. At occasions like this, it may be all too simple to show to meditation as a type of avoidance, closing your eyes and pretending that actuality doesn’t exist so that you don’t need to face the challenges. And in the event you’re not cautious, this will develop into a lifestyle. That’s exactly what occurred to me.
My Expertise Utilizing Meditation As Escapism
About fifteen years in the past I made the choice to to migrate from England to Canada to be with the lady I really like. Earlier than I left, I had in thoughts the concept of a fairytale voyage throughout the Atlantic, imagining that the whole lot could be good and straightforward. That didn’t occur. Leaving my household and starting a brand new life in a brand new nation was the truth is extraordinarily worrying for me. And, as an avid meditator, I turned to my meditation observe for assist. I meditated for hours daily underneath the pretense that I used to be “searching for enlightenment”, all of the whereas refusing to face actuality. Meditation took over my life. The extra I meditated, the additional I escaped from actuality. However the additional I escaped from actuality, the more serious my actuality turned as I uncared for my wants and duties.
This charade of “meditating within the search of enlightenment” prompted me to spend 5 complete years of my life disengaged from my real-world scenario. As I ignored actuality, actuality acquired worse. As actuality acquired worse, I felt increasingly more reliant on meditation as a solution to escape from the whole lot… it turned a vicious cycle.
Ultimately, I did be taught to cease escaping. I made basic adjustments in the way in which I meditate. Certainly, at this time I meditate particularly to assist myself to have interaction with life in significant methods. And thru my private meditation sessions, I assist others to do exactly the identical factor. However maybe you aren’t ready to have the ability to take non-public classes. And that’s why I’d prefer to share my insights right here.
So, let’s have a look at the connection between meditation and escapism, and the steps we are able to take to ensure that we use meditation to have interaction with life slightly than escaping from it.
Are Mindfulness And Meditation Escapism?
Mindfulness and meditation can generally be a type of escapism in the event you select to make use of them to disengage from challenges in your life, slightly than as a way for self-awareness, self-regulation, and private development.
For those who’re utilizing meditation as escapism, you may discover these indicators:
- Avoidance: Utilizing meditation to keep away from going through tough feelings or conditions.
- Disengagement: Disengaging from completely different facets of your life, particularly difficult facets
- Emotional Suppression: Utilizing meditation to forestall your self from experiencing feelings
- Lack of integration: Studying classes and gaining perception from meditation however not utilizing these insights in the true world.
Why We Escape And Why We Shouldn’t
The temptation to flee stems from the desire to avoid pain. It’s one thing most of us can determine with, as a result of, in fact, we have now all been by way of ache. As an illustration, let’s say that somebody we love passes away. We all know that we have now a painful street forward of us as we must overcome grief and different difficult feelings, however we develop into overwhelmed and shut down emotionally. Or maybe we face divorce and the concept of filling out the paperwork and maybe transferring out appears an excessive amount of to bear. At these occasions, we’re more likely to be tempted to show away from actuality and to flee, comparable to by sitting on the ground for hours on finish daily meditating as a substitute of truly doing what needs to be executed.
The issue with escapism is each sensible and psychological. On the one hand, escapism prevents us from taking vital steps to beat challenges in order that we are able to transfer ahead in life. Neglecting these challenges can usually make them worse as nicely, for example refusing to simply accept that mortgage you took out and thereby not paying it can solely make your debt enhance because the curiosity racks up. As for the psychological facet, avoiding difficult feelings tends to make things worse, so in the event you fail to face a painful emotion when it occurs, it can steadily develop inside you, changing into worse and worse.
As a substitute of Escaping, ENGAGE
We now have the selection of utilizing meditation to flee or to have interaction with life. Escaping will solely ever make our scenario worse as we fail to fulfill our wants and duties. Participating, then again, means residing life with objective, accepting no matter comes alongside, and dealing with painful feelings slightly than working away from them.
Some methods to cease escaping and begin partaking embody:
Determine your private values: To stay a lifetime of worth, you first must determine what values matter to you. Get a pen and paper and write three private values that matter to you and why. Examples of non-public values embody: Compassion, Spirituality, Household, Authenticity, and Environmental Consciousness.
Set significant objectives: Now write a listing of objectives that relate to the non-public values you wrote down above. As an illustration, if considered one of your private values is household maybe a aim may very well be to spend X quantity of high quality time with a sure member of your loved ones every week. Make your objectives difficult however achievable.
Embrace challenges: As a substitute of escaping from challenges, see them as a chance for private development, and create a plan to beat the problem.
Observe gratitude: As a substitute of specializing in what you don’t have, practice gratitude for what you do have.
Be conscious of escapism: Search for occasions when you’re escaping and discover methods to have interaction as a substitute. Merely being conscious of escapist conduct will assist you to to alter it.
Meditate like this: There’s a particular method to make use of meditation to have interaction slightly than escape. I’ll focus on this beneath.
Utilizing Meditation To Have interaction, Not Escape
In my non-public meditation classes I usually work with purchasers who’ve unintentionally been utilizing meditation as escapism, and I assist them to reengage with life by making key adjustments to their meditation observe. I’d prefer to share considered one of my principal suggestions for doing this.
On the finish of every day, write a journal entry (or simply make an observation) of probably the most difficult ideas and feelings that you simply confronted throughout that day and the real-world scenario that they regard. As an illustration, possibly you had a foul argument together with your partner and so the difficult emotion right here would possible be anger and the scenario could be arguing together with your partner. Or you might have an enormous presentation developing at work and also you’re very nervous about it. On this occasion, you’d write in your journal Anxiety about work presentation.
Now, you wish to use your meditation session the subsequent day that will help you to face the problem you wrote down in your journal. For instance, in case your problem was anger/arguing you may prefer to observe compassion (Loving Kindness). Or in case your problem is Anxiousness/Work Presentation you may love to do Conscious Respiratory (to reduce anxiety) mixed with a visualization of the presentation going nicely. Principally, you’re utilizing your meditation observe to treatment the problem that you simply wrote down in your journal.
Please observe that doing this does require good information of the completely different meditation methods and their results. You are able to do this working with me in my meditation therapy sessions, and I’ve additionally created a free useful resource on this web site that reveals you all of the completely different meditation methods and their results (see our principal menu).
Last Ideas
We will use meditation for escapism or to have interaction with life, and naturally, to profit from life, we wish to have interaction. The largest downside, and my concern, is that it’s all too simple to unintentionally use meditation for escapism, and this will have severe detrimental results. It occurred to me. And as a meditation instructor, I do know that it has occurred to many different folks too. Fortunately, we have now the volition to alter our meditation observe and to start out utilizing meditation to have interaction. Making that swap may be the most important step to discovering success and contentment, and objective by way of meditation.
